Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The ass gains better be worth it
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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