I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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