So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
