I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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