hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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