"it" just moved
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
