the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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