I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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