Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
