He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
