apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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