Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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