she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize