I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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