Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
