well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
