You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
