Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
