Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
