i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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