quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize