What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
