So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
