No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
