I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
