Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
