Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize