Buhtt sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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