You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
