It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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