I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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