She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He felt like a one man threesome
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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