Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
