Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
