weddingsv make me drug and hornr
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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