So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
