he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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