Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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