don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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