idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
