I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
