thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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