O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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