I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
