I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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