i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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