and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
