i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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