I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
