Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
