I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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