**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
