32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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