I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
