she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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