At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
